“One FLU east, and One FLU West,
And one FLU landed in Shruti’s nest”
Check check. It’s 2:42 a.m. And I am not sleepy at all. I slept late last night as well. Though tonight, I SHOULD get some decent sleep. I have been advised bed rest and what not. Erm.. to cut a long story short, I am down with flu/ viral infection whatever one may call it. We are hoping the anonymous virus has a name anything other than H1N1. Hence, we are slightly extra-cautious. I have been (in principle) quarantined in my room (even though I have spent the entire evening jumping around in every nook and corner of the house.. challenging the virus to keep my spirits down). I have also been put on a high protein diet, fluids etc. And oh, I was supposed to leave for Ajoobapur again tomorrow, but the plan stands cancelled. Coz of the flu of course.
Know what, with all this quarantining, bed rest etc, today my state reminded me of my Chicken Pox days- which was approximately around the same time last year .. (refresh your memory of that here!)
Anywho, I donot wish to type any post today. Had been meaning to post a few weirdly amusing google chats on this blog. Actually, the common factor in these is the absolute lack of sense/ purpose in the content of the conversation, and yet the surprisingly inspiring (and amusing?) zeal of the chatters ( one of whom is yours truly) to go on and on with the blabber.
Had been intending to do this since quite some time, but never got the time to do it. Guess I’ll do it today before I lose them in my mailbox!
Here goes:
CHAT 1
Chatters: Karan (IMI) and Me
**Background: I had just returned from my first trip to Ajoobapur. My status message read: “Ganna Choosna Sakth Mana Hai”. Some time before this, we had had a serious discussion on swapping of our jobs (I would readily do it anyday.. he is posted in GOA you see! :-( **
8:16 AM Karan: damn it
and i bought so many yesterday!
me: hahaha ...
8:17 AM no no .. u can chooso yours ... just not the D-S-C-L ones u see.. :D
Karan: oh ok
me: thts what they warn us on the factory premises ... in large bold signs :D ...
Karan: then it’s ok
hahahaha
me: n thats the guiding mantra for us ...
Karan: wow
that's tough
8:18 AM me: :D yup .. gud thing we didnt actually make the Goa-UP switch tho.. then u wud have been bound by this too ..
Karan: does the D in DSCL stand for Dictator?
me: lolz ...
that's a very profound observation i must say :D
Karan: Destroy Sugar Canes Limited?
8:19 AM me: :D :D ... yeah yeah, maybe that reallly IS the real thing .. tho they do have this thing going arnd ... calling them .. D-C-M Shriram godknowswhat!
:P
Karan: :D
that may be just a front
8:20 AM be very ware
8:22 AM me: haha :D .. i know ... do u really think they'd do that tho!... innocent eyes open wide
8:23 AM Karan: innocent.. pah
:D
me: haww ... dont pah away my innocence ..
:( that's all i got ... gannas n innocence .. without these two, sir... i am a nobody ,,, a nonentity!,,
8:24 AM Karan: hahahhaa
well, u better break some rules and have some gannas, then!
me: no sir, i can't .. i am a Ganna Gang-er .. we of the Ganna Gang, break no rules of the Ganna Land ...
8:25 AM rule 1.. ganna choosna sakth mana hai ..
rule 2 .. A Ganna is as a Ganna does .. :D
that's not laid down by DCM tho..that's a result of self realisation etc etc
8:26 AM Karan: wow
how deep
me: smiling sheepishly
Karan: and here i thought, A ganna was a a ganna by any other name!
8:27 AM how stupid
me: oh .. it is !! .. a ganna is a ganna by any other name .. but, Once a ganna, always a ganna...that's there too..remember!
Karan: oh no
that's too much to remember
8:28 AM WHAT AM I GANNA DO??
me: aww... that's awrite .. u'll learn as u go along, evn i didnt learn it all in one go, see! ... n that too ... counting in the fct that i am several times smarter n cleverer than u! ...
:D
8:29 AM Karan: :P wow, even your towering innocence dwarfs before your awesome modesty!
me: PS. I noticed 'ganna' instead of 'gonna' only now...LOL @ tht!
8:30 AM sheeeeeesh, now now ... dont say thtt ... brilliant as i am .. i do like to stay grounded ya know ..
we gannas have our roots deep in the ground ... :D
8:31 AM Karan: ohhh! maybe that's because the crop is reaped only twice in a year
unlike a banyan tree, which is reaped, like, NEVER
8:32 AM me: dont u terribly regret having lost that opportunity to make that switch now ... what pleasure does Goa with its boring beaches n sad cruises hold .. when compared to the delights of leisure walks in snake-insect infested ganne ke khets ...
Karan: totally
Karan: my loss totally
8:33 AM snakes rule over crabs any day of the week, and twice over on weekends
me: :D .. dont worry tho.. if u're good for the next few months ... n seem dedicated to the cause of ur self-gannafication, we'll probably let u in..as the fourth member of the ganna gang ...
wink wink .. what are ex-humanedge secys. for ..
8:35 AM Karan: i am honoured, your high-ganna-ess!
8:36 AM me: :D:D .. brb on call ...
Karan: k
*chat ends*
CHAT II
Chatters: Me and Ramladdoo/ Meggs/ Meghna Singh
*Background: That Meghna and I hate each other with utmost passion and sincerity is a fact well known. That we leave no chance for waging acidic verbal wars against each other, is another. The chat below is a perfect illustration of what binds us together, apart from our common love for loathing each other: Our capability to waste real kilojoules of energy in thinking, writing, typing stuff that can only be termed nonsensical. Here, we carry off a conversation based on nil logic but the common understanding that the convo must go on like an intellectually guided discussion, and the more illogical the better.*
10:08 PM RamLaddoo: m bk..
10:10 PM heyy
me: hey hey ... wb!! ..
RamLaddoo: :D
me: i ws away smsing abhi!
10:11 PM m glad u're back .. these days u seem to be that ... i am saying 'cya' bt have no intentions of logging back in in the near future .. kind of person :P
n helllow! .. why didnt u tell me abt kari's blog?
RamLaddoo: yeah... i try to be tht person...
10:12 PM ohh.. yeah... i totally forgot abt tht...
intersting huh!!! i think she wrote exceptionally well...
me: yeah right! .. act as if u were not consciously trying to conceal that precious bit of news ..
oh yeah.. it ws totally beautiful n straight from the heart ...
10:13 PM RamLaddoo: yeah sure... like u figure anywhere in my list... in any of my lists...
me: i ws thrilled to learn abt her blog ...! .. she's one of us now :)
i hope she becomes a regular tho! :D that way, we can actually be posted abt her new life :D
Don't I? Don't I?
RamLaddoo: yeah.. i hope so too...
10:14 PM u don’t! u don’t!
10:15 PM me: liar liar, pants on fire
10:16 PM RamLaddoo: weird ron weird ron, nobody calls her phone.. still she messages ppl, what a creep!! :D
Plus, u r an idiot
just wanted to let u knw tht
10:17 PM me: well, it's true that I dont have much social acceptance or room ... but at least I humbly try to make some for myself ..
10:18 PM unlike u... who wud rudely refuse any attempt of kind hearted souls like me ..to include u into the civic society ..something that u hv been deprived of, by virtue of being inside the skin of meghna singh
plus, u are not too bright either..
10:19 PM just wanted to let u knw tht
RamLaddoo (now taking the I-am-so-ignoring-you approach) : m sorry were u typing something?
10:20 PM me: yes i was .. but that ws all in vain i guess ... u wud take years to learn to read first, wudnt u?
RamLaddoo: can u re-type it.. m too lazy to scroll up... :D
10:21 PM me: go learn to read first ... dun wanna waste my intellectual energies on a lazy illiterate like u!
RamLaddoo: okay... but can u tell me something before i go do that?
10:22 PM me: Nope.
killing ur cheap potential joke, in effect
RamLaddoo: r u sure.. cos its a good question... i promise
10:23 PM me: oh my gawd .. ur word.. u r iving me ur word .. i must believe it! .. esp: since, such is its honor that I wudnt bet a worm's life on it!
*u r giving
10:24 PM RamLaddoo: yes i m IVING u my word...
me: Ive away for all i care! :P
10:25 PM RamLaddoo: can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??
can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??
10:26 PM can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??
can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??
can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??can i ask u now?? can i ask u now??
me: :O :O *spooked at this behaviour...looks around for people to run away to ... *.. yeah yeah ... do it ,,, n leave me alone!!
10:27 PM RamLaddoo: can i?
can i ask th ques now??
me: yesssums!
RamLaddoo: can i ask the ques nowwwwwwwww??
10:28 PM me: it just strikes her that the other person cannot read what she has been sincerely typing... nods her head vigorously in the affirmative
RamLaddoo: okay.. here goes
10:29 PM me: not too keen on looking at these popups
*Ramladdoo types absolutely nothing for a few minutes. And then:: *
10:33 PM RamLaddoo: so... what do u think.. what wud ur stand be?
(Me – Not to be taken down in this game of cheesiness. Frame a reply to a question that was never asked. )
me: of course ... my stand would remain unchanged.
10:34 PM RamLaddoo: i get that... buttt... heres what i have to say
(She types nothing again)
(I continue in the same vein)
me: hmm ... i see that!
10:35 PM RamLaddoo: this is what i m saying....If all the animaIs aIong the equator were capabIe of fIattery...then Thanksgiving and halloween......would fall on the same date.
would u agree?
10:38 PM me: I would like to point out that irrespective of how capable all the animals would be at flattery, rather than looking at whether thanksgiving and halloween would fall on the same date, you should first check whether all the blue jumpers in the world are woven in pink silk fabric or not.
10:39 PM RamLaddoo: ofcourse.. ofcourse.. i see the point u r making here...
me: hmm,... I see!
:D
RamLaddoo: lets imagine a situation here instead... for the ease of understanding..
10:40 PM A doctor who specializes in skin diseases...will dream he has fallen asleep in front of the television. Later, he will wake up in front of the television.....but not remember his dream!!!
10:41 PM me: Hmm ...
10:42 PM I am not too sure about this complex situation, but I think the large red key on his TV remote could also be the secret key to his refrigerator.
Again, this is merely a theory ...
10:43 PM RamLaddoo: obv... we cant type such things until they have been conceived in theory at least, if not proven without a doubt...
It’s basic mechanics...
10:44 PM me: More like basic astronomical principles ... hmm, I see your point here.
RamLaddoo: u do..!!
really?
10:45 PM me: Of course, Unless it turns out that A-the-wasthey was giving the him a-dirty-the- looks. That could question our hypothesis
10:46 PM RamLaddoo: :D
*chat cut off*
CHAT III
Chatters: Me and Meggs again. This took place today.. after ages. I had returned from the hospital, with the diagnosis. She had just returned from a long official trip to Chandigarh. PS. Rem. That the symbol
“:-x” which makes an angry emoticon on orkut, makes one that gives out kisses – on gmail and yahoo.
7:26 PM RamLaddoo: hello...cant u ever say hi.. esp since u know someone who ws in far far away land and just has returned...
me: hey! .. i jusst logged in ! ...
RamLaddoo: so...
hmmmmphhh :-x
7:27 PM me: um.. did u just send me a kiss? let me warn u, it might not be such a good idea right now .. i am down with flu..n under observation (n quarantined) for the next 3 days... lest it be the swine thingy!
RamLaddoo: nooooo re...
u little piglet....!!!
u have swine flew?? howw??
7:28 PM me: just spoke with my boss n cancelled my travel plan for toms ..
haha .. the swine never flew!! .. the Swine FLU! :P ..
I have the flu sillly goose.. n am now on meds n under observation ..so cant travel ..lest things get worse ..
RamLaddoo: yep they flew
me: just came back from the doc's..
7:29 PM RamLaddoo: they said ... 100 yrs ago.... tht pigs will fly... and then.. the swine flew...
me: It must have been you who made that propehcy ..u are easily 250 plus...
7:30 PM RamLaddoo: :D maybe maybe... bt why does this swine hav the flu? since i am the once who flew.. from chennai to ....
7:32 PM me: you are the once who flew? .. You sure u're not the twice who did? :P .. i dunno .. really sucks ..
7:33 PM RamLaddoo: but i did flew twice... d to c and then c to d...
and then i will fly d to c next month again... but this c is now k
7:34 PM me: Kolkata is it?:)
RamLaddoo: yeah... :D
anywhooooooo.... u in delhi till?
me: good .. i hope the spelling of FLEW in ur case never does undergo any modification!
yep .. :( .. bah! .. i want to go tomorrow .. :( ..
RamLaddoo: culd become blew.. as in "meghna u blew this"
7:35 PM u leaving tomo?? or u want to leave tomo? in any case when are u leaving?
can we meet... eat.... bleep...??
7:36 PM me: haha .. nai re.. didnt u get that? i am spsed to take ample rest n be under observation ..lest my viral blow out of proportion .. already quarantined n on a high protein diet etc ... (lots of chicken soup n what not) ..
RamLaddoo: wait
what?
7:37 PM on chicken soup to deal with a probable swine flu?
had u had bird flu u wud b eating what?
beef?
and then for mad cow, u cud eat pork!
me: :) a high protein diet builds ur body's resistance to fight back .. protein n fluids ..keep u healthy ..
7:38 PM n it may not be swine flu at all! (we'll find out) .. it may be any other flu :P ..tho ..didnt u read that article in TOI by one lady who actually recovered from swine flu ..by following simple common sense methods ..as u wud do in flu .. instead of panicking etc ..
7:39 PM it ain't the end of the world .. u gotto take the right precautions to prevent it from getting worse..n then u recover ..just like normal flu :)
RamLaddoo: why? why? why are u making it sound tht u will make it thru this??
boo hoo hooo
7:40 PM die, u willy wabbit ! die..
7:41 PM okay.. dont... sowie
me: hahahahah!! .. u know what ..don't be sorry .. i know u said that in all earnestness .. evil u :P ..
7:42 PM sounds like a good idea .. tho maybe i wont like to see u in peace like that .. wanna torture u some more *evil smirk*
RamLaddoo: u cuddddddd... ummm..... meet me n torture in person.. just a suggestion
7:45 PM me: Yeah .. i wud lovvve to..just to see u in pain n suffering .. only thing is, if I do really have the much publicized swine flu..i dun wanna share it with u ..n let u steal my thunder!
my name will be splashed all over the papers etc na! :)
RamLaddoo: :D
7:46 PM aah the first pig to die from swine flu
hehehehe
hey.. tell me... there were the moguls and who were the others??
7:47 PM me: haha ..gud one (screw u :P ) I dunnnnno re... i am a big ganwaar abt all things historical
in fact, all things in general :P
RamLaddoo: no.. the HP ones... the magical n non magical ppl
werent they called moguls??
7:48 PM me: x-(
muggles u mean! ..
MUGGLES! ... uff ..
RamLaddoo: yeah
maybe...
tell me more
me: there are magic people (witches n wizards) n the muggles ..
7:49 PM RamLaddoo: wot were the magic ppl called?
me: just magic people ..witches n wizards ... it's the non magic who have a term..
u know ..how muslims refer to the believers (themselves) and the kaffirs (non believers)(
7:50 PM RamLaddoo: ohhh yeah!!
okkies
:D
me: why do u wanna know? raises brow suspiciously
RamLaddoo: btw, thankie for making me see HP-6 and making me understand all of it.. cos i seemed really intelligent while discussing th book vis a vis the movie in chennai
7:51 PM and i wudnt hav understood head and toe of it had u not been there whispering in me ear
7:52 PM me: :D :D :D ..yeah, n i did do that at great risk to my personal dignity in public (rem. that mean aunty!!)
RamLaddoo: haan... sheesh... talk abt hypocrisy sic
me: u with people who discuss hp? .. I am thrilled that u are in safe hands!
7:54 PM RamLaddoo: :D there were a few ppl there talking abt it... so there i ws.. saying yeah i did see HP 6.. made some good old HP jokes... and i ws a hit!!
me: haha ... good for u!!
RamLaddoo: fanks...
7:55 PM me: grinning broadly yeah... dunmentionit!!
RamLaddoo: i wont... i promise!!!
me: im sure u won't ..u ungrateful little git:P
RamLaddoo: :D yeah,,, sounds arnd right!!!
7:56 PM me: :D
*chat ends*
…
I wish to write more. Updates etc. But can’t. Sleepy now.
Wish you well. Take care n God Bless :)
